Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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