i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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