he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
