i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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