he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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