We won't sleep together?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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