whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
