I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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