That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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