hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
