one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
