Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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