just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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