My brain says no but my pants say off.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
time to smoke my breakfast
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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