Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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