how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
