Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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