You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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