I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
420 ftw
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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