the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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