Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
