the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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