I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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