roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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