Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize