Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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