Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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