the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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