Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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