Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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