We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
