If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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