Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize