bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
