We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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