i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
