Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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