I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
