I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
