Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
