Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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