He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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