on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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