I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
