My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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