FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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