I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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