Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When are your genitals available?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
