You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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