Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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