; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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