in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
