is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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