When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
People in love make me want to vomit
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
