Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
