Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize