hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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