How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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